by the way, i’m gay
By Pat Law • Jan 18th, 2009 • Category: UncategorizedJournalists are dying to talk about you, but they can’t because your blog is too gay.
The feedback served in between a swirl of spaghetti and a sip of Heineken wasn’t fresh. I’ve heard a similar comment from the horse’s mouth previously.
I’d love to interview you, but my editor is saying no. We cannot be seen promoting homosexuality.
I take no offence in the Media’s sentiments about me, really. Our society needs time and I’m not keen on forcing homosexuality down anyone’s throat so rudely. I do find it a little funny though, having seen some of the mugshots of the journalists in the papers. I suppose the Lesbian Hair is fashionable these days with straight women.
On one hand, while I’m being deemed too gay by the general public, disgruntled lesbians (yes, more than one) have written to me, accusing me of being a homophobic straight woman, or perhaps even a man.
Trust me and my 3-inch-high leather heels on this – I’m every bit of a woman as I am gay. I’m just not as fat or melodramatic as half of them out there. And I certainly don’t hate men. Hell, I’ve even written about why I thought lesbians need men.
I’ve never imagined my sexuality to be an issue worth discussing. Until this article. Let me set the record straight (ha) once and for all. As one disgruntled lesbian mentioned, I “owe it to the lesbian community to do so”.
1 | BEING GAY is part of who I am, it is NOT all that I am.
2 | I AM CHINESE as much as I am gay.
3 | I AM A SINGAPOREAN as much as I am gay.
4 | I AM MY MOTHER’S DAUGHTER before I am gay.
5 | I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE ALWAYS THERE when I need them, not because they are gay too. For the record, most of them are straight.
6 | I WORK IN ONE OF THE BEST COMMUNICATIONS AGENCIES in the world, because I worked hard for it. Not because I’m gay.
7 | I WILL GET FIRED if I fuck my job up, and not because I’m gay. I don’t see why I’d be hired in the first place if my sexuality was an issue.
8 | BEING GAY DOESN’T GIVE ME THE RIGHT TO DISCRIMINATE. And that includes hating men just because they have what I don’t, or being racist. I’m extremely particular about the latter. Don’t let me do a Franco Louis on you.
9 | BEING GAY DOESN’T GIVE ME THE RIGHT TO PROMOTE HOMOSEXUALITY. I have spoken against discrimination of homosexuals, and even made some wallpapers to lighten the mood. But that is only because I don’t think God gave anyone the right to hate, and it is not because I’m gay. I will never promote homosexuality to heterosexuals. How is that even remotely possible? You’re either gay or you’re not (or for some greedy ones, bisexual). Either way, its none of my freaking business. Go fuck whoever you want. I don’t care as long as it ain’t someone from my family.
10 | I AM OPEN ABOUT MY SEXUALITY, but not open enough to want the entire nation knowing me for my sexuality. To keep blankanvas going as authentic as possible, I cannot afford for my sexuality to be front-page news in mainstream media. Call me a wuss, but I do care about my mum’s feelings when her computer-illiterate friends start gossiping.
If you find blankanvas shut down for good one day, you know what happened.
I’ll have the article that killed blankanvas serve as my final entry, alongside with moderation-free commenting option. Heh.
For now and hopefully forever, let me be your best-kept secret.
Pat Law is a Digital Strategist who, in her time in the Adland, has marketed a range of global brands including adidas, Cadbury Schweppes, Chrysler, Harley-Davidson, Hewlett-Packard, Johnnie Walker, L’Oréal, and Royal Salute. Pat is the Boss Lady of GOODSTUPH, a badass social influence studio, and is represented by FLY Entertainment.
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Reading: by the way, i’m gay | blankanvas http://tinyurl.com/7gtdw7
A very revealing piece, I must say. Daring, as well. Beautifully written, as always.
And I shall do my part to keep you my best kept secret in this country I call my second home.
Ahh that is what I like about you.
You mentioned you were your mother’s daughter before being gay. What exactly does that mean? Dare I ask, if you know that her true wish is for you to be married out to a man, will you do it or how far will you go to satisfy that wish without compromising your own sexuality?
Wait does she even know you’re gay? Sorry. >_<
Its amazing how people still believe that whole “promoting homosexuality” bs that homophobes push out.
Hi Farnielli,
No, if I compromised and marry a man just because its “the right thing to do”, my mother would’ve loved a lie, won’t she?
The truth is, my mum does know about my sexuality but the coming out experience was rather unintentional. I wasn’t planning to tell her, really, for I recognise it’d do nothing but grant me a certain degree of freedom and hurt her at the same time. It was the night when my ex-girlfriend of four years walked out on me, and I suppose my emotions got out of control. I don’t regret outing myself to her, but given a choice, I may not have done so. Like I said before, just because I’m a homosexual doesn’t mean I need to go shove it down anyone else’s throat. Especially my incredibly traditional mum. That’ just be plain selfish.
My mum said it best really – “I don’t like it, but you’re my daughter”. That was good enough for me.
Perhaps they can’t differentiate between acceptance, tolerance and promotion, Han.
Respect, Pat, is what I have for you and your way of writing. Your secret is safe with me!
Indeed. You have my respect and confidence.
Word.
And kudos for putting all that into words so well.
I speak my mind.
Hear hear!
Thanks for discussing this so openly.
Everyone has different comfort levels and lesbian, gay, straight, bi, trans……confused etc…..
should respect your decision.
I think those disgruntled lesbians neglected to be compassionate humans first and lesbian second.
As much as the society begins to open up, I still feel that it’s tough not being the seemingly ‘correct’ way. Sometimes it’s so hard for people in the community to be accepted, genuinely. I’m so glad reading your article and knowing that you are confident about yourself.
It’s always good to read what like minds think and feel. Keeps everyone a little less lonely and hopefully gives a lil education. Bottom line which seems so easy to understand yet for so many is so hard to do. Do unto others as you would want done to you and to each his/her own. Though that too can be debated but that’s a whole other blog entry.
–but good write