Patisms
By Pat Law™ • Jun 27th, 2007 • Category: The Bitch, The OddballBeliefs that are ingrained within my soul. What’s yours? Do share ‘em.
1. Only you, can lose your own dignity. No one else can take that away from you.
2. Pain is the scholarship God gives you, to priceless emotional lessons you educate yourself with.
3. Karma will come bite you in the ass eventually. Even if it’s 4 years later.
4. Lose with honour than to win by cheating. Except for your GCE ‘O’ Levels Chinese examinations.
5. True friends will hold your hair back while you’re puking your guts out after a drink too many.
6. True friends will also seize the opportunity to take snapshots on their mobile phones to distribute to their friends the next morning.
7. Effective use of social currency generates real cash.
8. Never kiss anyone after eating Coffee Club Express’ garlic prawn pasta.
9. We need stupid people in order to justify why we deserve higher salaries. Be thankful of stupid people. Kiss their toes when you next see them.
10. Never lie if you’d end up hurting someone along the way. Unless that is the whole idea in the first place.
11. You do not deserve to be loved, if you don’t even love yourself.
12. Life has an expiry date. Never take it for granted.
13. Never let anyone take you for a ride, unless it’s on a Harley-Davidson VRSCDX™ Night Rod Special.
14. When you marry a Chinese, you marry his/ her entire family.
15. Make sure you recognize yourself in the mirror every morning.
16. Never deprive yourself from loving someone because of your cowardice. It is ok to be hurt, in order to taste happiness of that degree.
17. Love is not charity. Don’t expect donations.
18. You are never too smart to learn something from someone else. Even if it’s from the toilet cleaner.
19. Pride is both an asset and a liability. Balance it well.
20. Never name your child Mervix.
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Pat Law™is a Digital Strategist who, in her time in the Adland, has marketed a range of global brands including adidas, Cadbury Schweppes, Chrysler, Harley-Davidson, Hewlett-Packard, Johnnie Walker, L’Oréal, and Royal Salute. A self-confessed Social Media junkie, Pat has since joined the 360° Digital Influence team at Ogilvy PR. Pat also writes for iSh, LOTL International, and Singapore Architect.
Email Pat | All posts by Pat Law™
Regarding #5 - A true friend would make sure that he/she wasn’t drunk so as to avoid dropping your head into the toilet bowl. (It happened to a friend of mine. haha.)
and regarding #14 - when you marry any Asian, you marry his/her entire family.
Muffinism #1 - Itchy ass in the evening, smelly fingers in the morning.
Even if you win the rat race, you’re still a rat.
“The nakedness of woman is the work of God,” but I stole this from William Blake.
Genoisms -
1. What is yours, is yours.
2. There are miracles in Life.
Daddyisms…..
1. Nothing like a little pain. Lets you know you’re alive. (quoted from one of the Lethal Weapon movies… can’t remember which one)
2. When you fall, pick yourself up. No one else will.
3. Never go to bed angry, unless it’s to have angry sex.
4. Reality is figment of your own imagination.
5. There is no such thing as a bad idea. Only misguided ones.
6. Trust no one.
7. Everything is a test.
8. Nothing melts ice better than a warm smile.
9. Death is inevitable. But how you die is up to you.
10. Never forgive. Never forget.
11. Do first. Ask questions later.
12. Don’t knock what you haven’t tried.
13. When you see shit… stir it.
14. Everything has a sexual innuendo.
15. Everyone has a dark side, dark secret and/or a dark past.
16. Hokkien is proof that God has a sense of humour.
17. Have your heart broken at least once.
18. You know you’ve made a difference in a life / organisation when the place is never the same without you.
19. Don’t judge. Don’t make assumptions.
20. Life will kick you when you’re down. Kick back. Hard.
21. Do unto others, then split.
22. Learn to listen before you learn to speak.
23. Laughter really is the best medicine.
24. Never let your integrity be questioned.
25. Nothing is trivial.
26. Ice cream heals all wounds.
27. Live by a code. Any code.
28. Love with all your heart. Fuck with all your might.
29. People WILL judge you by what you wear.
30. Always stay in bed 5 minutes more.
Midnight’s Driver… You should run a talkshow like Dr. Phil, and call it “Daddy says” or something. I love No. 3, 24, 26, and of course, your daughter’s No. 30. No. 13 is just so you.
John, yeah try coming to Singapore. We’re all rodents here.
14. When you marry a Chinese, you marry his/ her entire family.
and here i thought it was just the malays. hahahaha.
“Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.”
thedroptowonderland, I think its Asians, by and large.
C, u must be a suit. lol.
Am just about to return to being one again
i believe that you should check out someecards dot com.
C, welcome back to Hell.
1. To sing is human, to air — divine.
2. Artificial intelligence never trumps natural stupidity
3. Drink as much beer as you want — just remember to pee
4. Pick your battles — if only to preserve your sanity (refer to point no. 2). Afterall, an ad’s an ad. Feel free to disown the offending article after sign-off.
5. When push comes to shove, get ready to rumble. And don’t ever play nice.
6. Laugh off the bad stuff, don’t take yourself too seriously.
7. The best part of having a goal is the process of getting there.