bay-see-ker-lee hor…

By Pat Law™ • Mar 11th, 2008 • Category: The Bitch

I’m a proud self-appointed ambassador of Singlish; I pepper my speech with lahs and lors, siao and sian. I sometimes don’t bother to co-switch to the Queen’s English when I speak to my ang moh boss. Not that he even minds, really. He’s probably the most non-ang-moh boss removed from any superiority complex one might acquire in this country.

I appreciate Singlish for its authenticity. For how we can mash 4 different languages into one sentence and still make sense from one Singaporean to another. For how I can go “Your hair cut where one?” and not have a confused face with a Mohawk staring back at me.

Unfortunately, I do have one certain pet peeve about us Singaporeans and the English language - the fucking atrocious way we pronounce our words. Where the hell do we learn to say:

  • air-tual-lee (actually)
  • bay-see-ker-lee (basically)
  • corn-tec (contact)
  • derrr-an (then)
  • eee-shoo (issue)
  • fad (fat)
  • irregardless (no such word, you silly)
  • lor-gee-ker-lee (logically)
  • meh-dee-sern (medicene)
  • per-zee-ser-en (position)
  • sah-meat (submit)
  • thief (teeth)

Why do we increase a 3-syllabus word like basically into 4? Isn’t it a waste of saliva? We so hardworking for what? To end up pronouncing the word wrongly? I quite like how we turn every word so monotonous, even with Mandarin (in spite of its 4 tones per character). That gives us the Singapore accent, the familiar ring I never fail to smile to, especially when I’m overseas. But the mispronunciation (note: not miss-pro-nouce-see-a-tion) is a bit embarrassing. ESPECIALLY when we attempt to fake an American or British accent whilst mispronouncing all our words. I’m no expert (and that’s why I need my wife - amongst other things…), but I don’t fancy being the next circus act by attempting an accent while asking my dentist to brush my thief.

You all agree anot? Come lah, share your thoughts. Got more to add anot? Say lah.


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Pat Law™is a Digital Strategist who, in her time in the Adland, has marketed a range of global brands including adidas, Cadbury Schweppes, Chrysler, Harley-Davidson, Hewlett-Packard, Johnnie Walker, L’Oréal, and Royal Salute. A self-confessed Social Media junkie, Pat has since joined the 360° Digital Influence team at Ogilvy PR. Pat also writes for iSh, LOTL International, and Singapore Architect.
Email Pat | All posts by Pat Law™

15 Responses »

  1. WishBoNe on March 11th, 2008 at 9:46 am:

    tee-see-u (tissue)
    kee-lan-der (calendar)

    Hmm, I could be wrong there.

  2. Hamie on March 11th, 2008 at 9:55 am:

    erm……your “medicene” should be medicine…….

    my Great Chao Ah Beng corlick pronounced “position” as “poh-shee-sion”. i pronounced Caleb as “ker-lab”.

    thought –> tot
    dot –> dog
    mummy –> mar-mee
    people –> pee-per

    i is guilty of some of the above too, karma will seek me out 1 day! LOL

  3. Pat Law™ on March 11th, 2008 at 10:24 am:

    Hamie, you’re absolutely right. Lim pei can’t spell to save her life lah.

  4. Pat Law™ on March 11th, 2008 at 10:25 am:

    WishBoNe, oh yeah, how can I miss the tissue bit? Here’s one more: BOO-FAY (buffet).

  5. C. on March 11th, 2008 at 11:00 am:

    hahaha u guys r so funny.

  6. Hamie on March 11th, 2008 at 4:42 pm:

    wah lao, u put me to shame! i cant write as good as u to save me ass!

  7. Hamie on March 11th, 2008 at 7:28 pm:

    government –> gah-men/garr-men
    immediately –> eee-me-diot-lee
    heir –> hair
    copy –> corr-pee
    envelope –> ann-ver-lope

    the list goes on……. =P

  8. NotJolie on March 12th, 2008 at 11:55 pm:

    howdy! greetings from ur neighbour up north. fyi, the disease is epidemic here, too leh.

    career — carrier
    zero — jee-rou
    terrible — te-ri-be

    and the ‘your one, my one’ phrase just drives me bonkers!

  9. pee on me on March 14th, 2008 at 12:24 am:

    nowadays - nows-a-days

    however - how-re-ver

    can do? — can-or-not?/cann-nnot?

    PAP — peee-eh-peee (our gah-men lah)

    opposition — orh-per-zhi-shion

    what-to-do? — eh-how li-dat?

  10. sleepyhead on March 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm:

    this is the best one i’ve heard thus far:

    bed-lie-nen (Bedlinen)

  11. Pat Law™ on March 15th, 2008 at 12:39 pm:

    NotJolie, oh yeah we have the your one, my one here too.

  12. Pat Law™ on March 15th, 2008 at 12:40 pm:

    pee on me, I quite like can or not actually. Extremely endearing if you ask me.

  13. Pat Law™ on March 15th, 2008 at 12:41 pm:

    Harlow, my ex-wife sleepyhead, I hope it wasn’t your Suit speaking to you like that.

    I’ve just made a boo-boo last night during dinner. Let’s just say it rhymes with goondu.

  14. O on May 2nd, 2008 at 3:32 pm:

    you know.
    everytime i hear someone say “basically” now the 4 syllable way, i think of this entry.
    another thing. my name is so simple. yet, i get people pronouncing it wrongly too. and it completely annoys me!!!!

  15. Yi Kai on May 28th, 2008 at 3:51 pm:

    Let us not forget

    Lingerie ( Lawn-dree)

Say something.