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I have never been too crazy about hotels. It’s not that I don’t appreciate fine merino wool backed with a thousand-count Egyptian cotton sheets, but rather, my relationships with the hotels have been rather transactional. Blessed with a multi-international family scattered all around the world from Brussels to London to Washington DC, I’ve been spoilt rotten with the comfort and warmth of a home a hotel can never seem to provide, regardless of the number of stars TripAdvisor knights it with.

After all, I awake to the sun kissing down on my skin in London like this.

And I enjoy my morning cup of home brewed coffee alongside with my cigarette, to a beautifully manicured garden in Brussels like this.

This picture shows merely one-third of the size of my Uncle’s garden, by the way.

You can imagine my surprise when I arrived at the Majestic Malacca, feeling like I’ve just walked into the house of an extended Peranakan family in Malacca I’ve never knew I had.

The grand entrance of Majestic Hotel, by day.

The grand entrance of Majestic Hotel, by night.

The homely lobby that greeted us as we set foot into the hotel.

Resting comfortably at the cultural crossroad since the 1920s, gazing serenely across the Malacca River, the Majestic Malacca felt like home from the first foot into the lobby. I felt the need to remove my shoes for Christ’s sake. The assistant manager of Housekeeping, Mitsuhiro Yamaga, welcomed my traveling companion, ThangDynasty, and I at the reception.

A Japanese in Housekeeping. In Malacca. How oddly pleasant. We all know how reputable they are with service standards.

Waiting for our room to be ready at the lobby.

Me, camwhoring as usual.

My childhood returned to me in the form of a jar.

Having managed luxury alcohol brands in my past life as an Ad girl staying in no less than USD500.00 per night luxury hotels for my business trips (with a personal female butler), I appreciated Mitushiro for not being overzealous. I don’t know what it is with 5-star hotels and ridiculously friendly employees. I’m quite sure they don’t smile that way to their own chambermaids. To be honest, I feel a tad insulted when hotel employees get too friendly.

I’m not dumb, you smiling idiot. You and I are Asians. We are pragmatic, not friendly. We greet with “Have you eaten?”, not “How are you? Lovely hair! OMG I love your jeans!”

Mitushiro’s genuineness was a relief. I didn’t feel like I was in that capitalistic world where one needs to pay top dollar to be treated well. Escapism began from the lobby of the hotel, imagine that.

The cozy library that is enabled with free WIFI.

The gorgeous pool at the foot of the award-winning Spa Village

Walking pass the cozy room library of knowledge at the lobby, the reflections of the city in a lovely swimming pool, and the award-winning Spa Village, ThangDynasty and I were brought into our Deluxe King room by a petite lady named Ayumi. Yes, another Japanese. Don’t ask me why.

For the first time ever in my experience with hotels, my jaws dropped.  Heaven greeted us with open arms.

At first sight.

I think there’s space for two.

The view from the other side.

The amazing bathroom (bath space?)

You’d find it hard not to smile too, if you were in my socks.

Each room melds luxury, modernity and tradition. Sumptuously appointed in rich teak and fine silk, a four-poster bed awaits, whilst an ohmygodineedthis bathtub rests open to the room, promising a smoothing, lingering soak.

I won’t break a song on how falala the room was but this is newsworthy: 4 spare power sockets located above the writing desk.  That belief shared by YTL Hotels’ president, James McBride, comes into mind.

“The difference between good and exceptional is in the details.”

Any business traveler will appreciate this little detail. For the love of God, my MacBook Air, iPhone, Canon G9 digital camera, and the unfortunate need for a constant flow of freshly brewed coffee, having not one, but FOUR power sockets is a dream come true. Think about it. When was the last time you could recharge all your business weapons at the same time without the need to sacrifice a hot cup of coffee? Also, when was the last time we had more than a couple of power sockets located ABOVE the writing desk? My weather-predicting back and legs are most grateful.

I challenge you to find me another hotel that provides 4 power sockets above a writing desk in each of its rooms.

While I am still digesting the overwhelming experience I’ve had in Malacca, I’d recommend you swing over to ThangDynasty’s blog now. She has a useful guide on Malacca beyond chicken rice balls, durian chendol, Jonkers Street and the Little Nonya.

Meanwhile, here’s my little 2 Ringgit worth about Majestic Malacca, besides the façade I’ve already waxed lyrical about.

1 | BEST FOR
The Architecture and History lover, who needs more soul than just fancy decoration from the likes of Simone Micheli. The Majestic Malacca was formerly home to a Peranakan family of 15 people (or is that more?). I’ve got to hand it to them for painstakingly restoring the 1920s building.

2 | THE RATES
Quite evidently, the Majestic Malacca isn’t Hotel 81. You pay peanuts, you get, well, the monkey quarters. I recommend emailing them to check for special deals.

3 | HOSPITALITY EXCELLENCE
The hotel staff were polite, helpful, but not overtly friendly to a point of being pretentious. ThangDynasty has this thing about room service being part of her traveling ritual. Unfortunately for us, room service wasn’t available in the hotel. In spite of that, the hotel staff were happy to make an exception and delivered our dinner right to our door step. In addition, they refused our tip because “it wasn’t right”. If that isn’t hospitality excellence, I don’t know what is.

4 | THE FOOD AT THE MANSION
The Nyonya chicken broth was orgasmic, the Fillet Mignon was alright, but alas, the Rib eye steak was forgettable. While I appreciate the semi-buffet style approach that saves me from having to queue in a line with some noisy family of 4, I have to say there is definitely room for improvement all in all.

5 | THE SPA VILLAGE

Peranakan day beds at The Spa Village

The Spa Village honours the healing traditions of the region in which it is located. As a result, the 2-storey Spa Village Malacca offers the world’s only Peranakan spa, reflected not only through the therapies, but also within the architecture of the spa. My 3-hour long therapy was molded around my energy – defined warm, based on Peranakan belief and inspired by Traditional Chinese Medicine.  For all curious, my therapy comprised of:

• Yoghurt-Guava Leaves Body Scrub
• Egg Rolling Body Therapy (didn’t like this much because of the heat emitting from the hard boiled eggs)
• Limau Kasturi-Yoghurt Hair Mask (I love this bit the most, although the flower stuck in my hair thereafter the hair treatment by my therapist Inuh was hilarious)
• Bird’s Nest Facial with Star Fruit Mask (no, I didn’t attempt to lick my face)

Sounds delicious no? ThangDynasty thought I smelt like the Nyonya chicken broth we had for dinner.

6 | THE HISTORICAL WALK

The route to Malacca’s history by foot

The best Majestic Malacca has to offer that makes her so special, in my opinion. The hotel offers daily complimentary tours at either 10am or 5pm. The 2-hour route to Malacca’s history provides a glimpse into the splendid saga of an extraordinary empire. Many of us remember Malacca for her Peranakan heritage, food and Jonker Street. How many of us know of Malacca for the way it was born in commerce and conflict, wrapped in history and lore? While I had initially contemplated giving the historical tour a miss (what can you show me that I can’t explore on my own, my arrogance hissed), I shall remain eternally grateful I did not. Our resident historical guide, Donovan Louis, didn’t recite from the Lonely Planet guidebook like the typical guide would. Instead, Donovan imparted knowledge of his city’s history.  Knowledge that I will so dearly pay for. This historical tour is a MUST GO for all.

I shall be sharing his knowledge with you in a separate post when the festive season is over and I’m not too busy getting fat on brie, turkey and champagne.

Til then, Merry Christmas and God bless.