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A few months ago, when I was at my all-time low, I decided to reflect on the 50 things that make me happy. I can’t say I’m any happier now as much as I can say I’m getting jaded with recurring wounds as a result of carelessness.

I know I can’t play a song on broken strings. So instead of singing a tune that invites gossip, Imma sing this list of gratitude, of 10 things that I’m thankful for in my life. After all, we have often fought for what has been taken away from us, and not what has been given to us.

1. My mum.

She hates my Mohawk with a passion now and yet proud enough of me as her daughter to call her entire phonebook of family and friends to tune in to Channel 5’s Singapore’s Talking just because her little girl was in it. She doesn’t give a flying fuck if I don’t look like a typical girl. She doesn’t give a flying fuck if her friends were to gossip about me being gay after seeing me on national TV. I’m really lucky to have her as me mum. I must say though, I’m getting a bit disturbed by how comfortable she now is about my sexuality. No mum, I’m not about to tell you what happens in bed.

2. Rebel.

My 6-year-old Chihuahua (yes it is a Chi, get over it), Rebel. 3 women in my life later, he remains as my only constant. His level of loyalty is irreplaceable (and ok, I think he figured out I was the one paying for his daily meal of venison and avocado), and while he has the attitude of a cat, he is sensitive enough to lick my tears when he feels my sadness.

3. My friends.
I don’t have recreational friends that I club every weekend with. In the first place, I’m wary of the fact that those people and their jugs of Vodka Lime aren’t friends at all. I’m the type who’d probably bail on a movie with you, but be the first there when you’re about to jump off a building. The (good) problem is, I have more friends who want to watch movies than jump off buildings. In spite of being such a godawful friend, my friends have been there time and time again, from Day One.

It is with the acknowledgment of my privilege in mind, that I’d like to spend a little more time talking about my friends. As general as my summary is, I appreciate that my friends:

• Have stood by my side no matter what, for over a decade, watching me grow and evolve.  Women will always come and go. True friends don’t.

• Aren’t afraid to bitch-slap me back into reality when my emotions get the better of me. Maturity plays a big part, I reckon. My friends have been my constant check-and-balance, and they will never support the decisions I make just because I’m their friend.

• Aren’t into self-inflicted drama.

• Are low-maintenance. LOL. You are who you attract, as they say. My friends and I work about an average of 15 hours a day, and we have more than ourselves to answer to. A husband. Two kids. 5 pitches in a week. 10 employees to feed. A family of four to support. When you have more than yourself you need to answer to, you’d trade a weekly mindless catch-up of partying for a monthly catch-up of decent conversations.

• Love me for me. My friends know me beyond blankanvas and my angsty tweets. They know, while I can cut an award-winning creative director’s ego into shreds in an Agency-wide meeting, I am a bloody softie inside with people I love (no, not proud of it at all). They know me and love me for who I am. I can’t ask for more, really.

4. GOODSTUPH.

My baby is growing nicely into what I’ve envisioned it to be, and I am thankful. Yes, it took a hell of guts (and perhaps, a good dose of insanity), to start my own social influence studio up without a royal last name, but I couldn’t have done so without the help of my friends. Considering how bad I am at being a salesperson, I’m grateful of the suite of clients we currently have in barely a year in operation.

5. My potent amount of common sense.
I have never been academically inclined, and I will never be able to understand The Game Theory no matter how I try. I was instead, blessed with a potent amount of common sense which, judging by experiences, isn’t very common at all. I know I’m smart (and clearly, not very modest), but more importantly, I’m smart enough to know when I’m not.

6. My constant thirst for knowledge.
I started my first unofficial business when I was 12 (I introduced one pen pal to another for $2 each). I built my first website when I was 14. I could pull a perfect 18-sec Espresso shot when I was 16. I asked what ‘network marketing’ was when I was 17. I wrote my first scope-of-work contract by the time I was 21. None of these would’ve happened, if I never had my constant thirst for knowledge. I have always been curious about my environment and its various ornaments of knowledge, and I’m thankful for that.

7. My extremely high metabolic rate.
Because it is nice when you can have twice the portion of chicken rice compared to the average person everyday, visit the gym once every 3 years, and keep a decent body frame with veins on the biceps.

8. The different individuals who came into my life to help bring GOODSTUPH to life unconditionally.

From Michael (aka Mindflyer) and the logo/silkscreen/company stamp/ business cards he did for GOODSTUPH, to Shan, formerly from Nike who gave GOODSTUPH her first piece of business, to our feisty lawyer of one of Singapore’s leading law firms who represents GOODSTUPH pro-bono, to Irene of Fly Entertainment who serves as my mentor, to Kun of Make Studios who gave GOODSTUPH a home rent-free and many more, no amount of words can express how fucking grateful I am, for these individuals being placed in my life.

9. My inability to fake it like I mean it.
I don’t mince my words, nor do I behave in a certain manner with anyone, so as to get what I want out of them (I could, but I respect them more than that). My inability to be diplomatically correct has hence resulted in people adapting to my behaviour. It’s amusing when you get your own Managing Director going “Am fucking tired Pat, I’m heading home. Now don’t behave and enjoy your night!”. Yeah, keep it real, yo.

10. My survival instinct.
As mum would tell me, “You’re a born survivor, you have always been.” I can’t mention the misfortunes I’ve survived thus far, without tainting a few parties’ reputation. So I’d much rather not elaborate any further. But for all that I’ve been put through and survived, I know I have been made stronger. There are some lessons in Life that require emotional pain for payment. I can’t quite apply for a management role at Google with this set of qualifications, but I know the knowledge I’ve acquired from these lessons will only make me stronger, for years to come. I’m not about to go all falala on Destiny, but everything does happen for a reason. You just have to trust that it was for your own good.

Count your blessings, always. What are the 10 things you’re grateful for?

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