I bumped into an Ex-girlfriend I have not met over three years last week. She has gained so much weight that her neck has gone missing. If she has a tattoo, it should say Air Pork. Indeed, it was a Mastercard moment for me, considering the fact that she was the one who cheated [...]
My wifey and I were about to catch a taxi to meet her friends for dinner, when we found ourselves in an uncomfortable 40-minutes saga with the nation’s largest taxi provider. I’m not a big fan of complaint letters because I don’t think they deserve my feedback.
The elevator doors were about to close when a K-Box-loving Chinese couple sneaked in. The youfellasareoverweight buzzer stung like tinnitus would, but the Chinese couple remained stationary in their spot as though it was elevator music.
Are you waiting to lose weight? A voice hissed from behind.
Quite promptly without uttering a word, the Chinese couple stepped [...]
As a kid, I have always dreamed of being a phlegmatic, sardonic, neurotic and eccentric artist who rapes the decaying society with her discharge of venerable wit and dry sense of humour. I was convinced I could get rich from entertaining the audience. Unfortunately, the only person in the audience at that time was my [...]
Singapore was blessed by the presence of one of Alternative Rock’s most definitive bands, The Cure, last night. The frontman, guitarist and primary songwriter Robert Smith, hypnotized the audience with his strangulated vocals, of lyrics battered with such literary despair. It was a not just a rock concert, it was THE performance of one of [...]
Fatboy Lim and I hung out on Sunday and whilst getting a cup of ice lemon tea from Pizza Hut (its the authentic lipton ice tea! or so Fatboy Lim says), I couldn’t help but notice how bloody short the lady in front of us was.
Fatboy Lim, remember NOT TO eat chicken buns from China. [...]
My chichi aunt from London will have you know that my English is atrocious. Ling, speaking Singlish is fine, it’s our heritage, but bless your soul for speaking bad English.
Auntie Judy, this one is for you. I’m not that bad now, am I?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riBS5cURFRI]
I recognize that I do have a significant amount of readers who are [...]
Once upon a time, in the not-too-distant pre-Friendster past, my definition of a friend was fairly straightforward – someone I trust who I can bitch, cry, debate and laugh with. My expectation of a friend was equally simple too – just hold my hair back when I vomit after a drink too many. And keep [...]
Beliefs that are ingrained within my soul. What’s yours? Do share ‘em.
1. Only you, can lose your own dignity. No one else can take that away from you.
2. Pain is the scholarship God gives you, to priceless emotional lessons you educate yourself with.
3. Karma will come bite you in the ass eventually. Even if it’s [...]
A fellow carpet-muncher friend of mine sought my divine lesbian knowledge yesterday afternoon. She demanded an explanation for how this particular contestant for the local annual Butch Hunt competition could even qualify as a butch. I nearly choked on my coffee when I saw her profile.
Never call yourself Calvin unless your last name’s Klein (even [...]
